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| This month has been the best time of my life.
I have a loving boyfriend named Josh.
He is my world! And I love him to pieces.
I didn't think that it was possible to be this happy,
but I am. I guess that's what matters.
Another happy note.
I am officially on vacation.
Again I am heading out to be with my sis.
She is going to be on spring break too.
We plan on chilling with my uncles and family out there.
So its the beach for me!!!
I will burn yet again!!!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA
I can't wait.
But I also don't wanna leave Josh.
Poor boy is going to be alone....
And is going to miss me ....
Like I'm going to miss him....
I'm a bad person...
I should have cancelled my flight...
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| I've never been this stressed! I feel like a caged animal, stuck in my own house. Grams car is going die if someone doesn't call me to let me know when he can fix it. (He was suppose to have it fixed Tuesday... it's now Thursday.) And before I know it, something else is going to break. Making more time being stuck in the house. I can't even go out to drink... GODS I want a drink, or two or three. This sucks not being able to go out on nights that I don't have to work, or when I don't have to work at all. I'm a prisoner in a place that I don't wanna be. Someone help me. I need to break this cycle that has been going on for a week and a half. Help.
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| So life this week has been nothing but hell.
And a roller coaster of emotions.
So this is how it has been this week.
It starts out as a lovely Monday morning!
Blue skies, sunny! What more could be better?
Or what could turn the hole day pitch black?
Could it be the fact that I'm broke on mondays? No
Could it be because I have to work. Not really.
Could it be a car accident?... Maybe.
No... That's a yes.
So some asshole thinks it a nice idea to run me off the highway.
Yeah.... NOOO!
My lovely new car of six months, thrashed!
Thank you asshole!
Tuesday.
Nothing major. Rick and I take grams car and head to clean out my ruined one.
No biggie. Cleaning and some pics. It should be able to get fixed... I hope.
Wednesday.
Laundry day at aunt Karen's. FUN!
Then gram's car doesn't start.
And we have been without hot water for a week now.
Thursday.
I get a call at 9AM
"Miss Moore. There is to much panel damage to your car to repair it.
I'm sorry to say that we are going to have to total it. Please go and remove your plates and remove
any other items from the car."
I cry the whole time.
I love that car!
You can't do that!
Friday.
It just hit me that all my college friends will be leaving for school within the next few days.
If not already.
This is where my life starts to suck.
There is no one left here to chill with.
I am alone in this town with no friends.
With no car to visit friends at college.
Or to take random road trips.
I sit here in my little isolated cottage with grandma and read all day.
And work most nights.
And there is one of all that I don't want to see to go.
For I know that it will be that last time that I see him.
I love him. And I can't lose a love like this.
For after this winter break, he will not be returning to Queensbury...
Or Upstate New York for that matter.
He is moving to Florida.
I don't want him to. He could have a place here with me and Gram while he isn't in school.
What am I to do?
Losing a love of such hurts.
Not being able to see him after these next few days hurts all that much more.
Why can't I escape pain?
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| So things between Kim and I got patched up.
Or so I thought.
This is the point where I find myself alone.
Alone again.
She doesn't return my calls.
She doesn't return my IM's.
And I have a feeling that the plans that we have for Friday are going to be canceled.
What has happened to the one person that means most to me?
Has she fallen pray to the one that I can't stand?
What does it take to get her back.
To have what we had before.
To have all the talks back.
And all the fun that we had.
I miss that one person that was my life.
And now she's left me.
And there's nothing left for me.
Nothing but hope.
Hope that she will come back before she goes.
Goes and really leaves me alone.
Again with the alone.
That seems to be my nature.
Kimmie is to be left alone.
Pushed aside like disgusting food.
To be spit on like some foul trash.
I think that I am beginning to see just where I stood.
I was not the cherished friend that she said I was.
But the one with a car, and money.
What becomes of this one when neither is offered?
This one is tired of being walk on.
Of being used.
Is tired of everyone's shit.
Everyone's lies.
I just want my most loved person back.
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| It would seem that no one uses Xanga anymore.
So I will
I will rant and complain
I will bitch and cry
So....
Let's start with a question that I know will not get answered.
Why has everyone left?
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